Should I give a better explanation to the poison pocket, how it forms and what not? Thoughts on this?

The more information the better, however I am not sure Shilo would be aware of these details. So it would need to written a information for clarification only. I would think. I would also caution about making Shilo too much of a victim. I percieve she is suppose to be an adie to Erik and such needs to be strong and not accident prone. Otherwise she would be more of a liability to him than and assest. But this is your story line Sin. I am just expressing my htoughts.

Just a bit more explanation about the poison pocket would be good. The way it's written does sort of lead to Shiloh knowing about it.

Shiloh's wound will take some time to heal and the salve she was given has medicinal herbs to help speed the healing. Now with this poison that's been let loose, it's quite possible she will die and we don't want to see that. With the healing salve being applied to the wound, I can't see how the poison could still remain, but it's not impossible.

While dangers do exist in this sort of world, like Lac stated, we can't dwell too much on the victimization of the characters too much. This sort of story line has the ability to weave in intrigue, covert operations, the use of magic and a lot of back stories that could be woven that will make it a very intersting story.

I'd love to see it evolve in that direction, but as Lac stated as well, this is your story line and we're just here to help out as much as we can.

I agree. I was thinking about that last night while lying in bed and realized that I was doing it again, making my character into a all out victim. Thank you, both, for you input. I will make the necessary changes to my post.

Please don't think we're not bashing you, Sin. We know you are an EXCELLENT writer and your imagination is tremendous. I'm so glad to see the way your writing has improved in the short time you've been here. I am honored to write in any story with you and I know that you are bouncing ideas around in your head that sometimes just can't be ignored. I just don't want to see you slide into a rut and find it's a slippery slope when getting back out of it.

In other words, let's go girl! I know you gots what it takes. Mm Hm....



(don't ask me why I chose that emoticon. I just think it's goofy looking and wanted to use it)

Awww, hon, I don't think you guys are bashing me at all. See, I have this asinine habit to make my characters victims, even in post and play forums and I tend to dwell on it too much. Comes from past experiences.

Anyway, I want to get out of doing that. So, I don't mind that you and Lac pointed it out. I had already realized what I was doing, but just the same, I don't mind constructive criticism at all. In fact, I welcome it. How else will I learn?

And, I edited my post. Please let me know if it's better and thanks for the vote of confidence on my writing.

Now THAT'S what I'm talkin' 'bout right there!!

high fives

WOOHOO!!!

Go Sin

Go Sin

Go Sin

Now I'm blushing. LOL

Thank you, Lac, for the history of the riders. I would not have thought of that, nor would I have done such a wonderful job in typing it down. Thank you and I mean that sincerely.

Thank you and I am glad I could contribute. Although Braum's tale to Erik and the other Riders is not finished yet. I wanted to give others a chance to post before I finished the tale, that is as far as Braum wished to devulge at this time.

RPM, as you mainly have Kryton's character, I will leave it up to you on how he handles this new information that Shiloh's father has brought to him.

Sure thang!!!

I don't know how I did this, but I missed Lac's post where he snuck out of the compound. I will edit my post with Miranda that I did shortly after that.

No worries, it happens sometimes. Just a thought, given Braum's training and his character and demeanor. I am not sure he would yell. He might grimace and grunt. But I am not sure he would yell.

Okay, will edit that post as well. and pay closer attention to details and such.