A thread for story discussion.

Interesting story about the Queen Mary. I've always been a firm believer in 'ghostly' phenomena, and believe that such events hover in between science in spirituality depending on the nature of the situation.

It is definitely a 'Memory Haunt'. A traumatic event frozen in time; remnants of what once happened fused with the physical area for all time, in this case the Queen Mary. Such is the typical science behind most hauntings.

Very interesting story, Sir Easy.

Cool prelude for the Shadowlight story, Kasai. Figured the pronunciation of the name, reminds me of the name Malachi, as in the prophet or the really creepy red headed kid from Children of the Corn.

It's hard to judge writing though. We all emulate particular writers (at least I try to) and have our own styles. Perhaps a few sentences could be written differently, but would it make a difference? Probably not. Seems to me the prologue sets up the story very nicely... as it should.

Thanks ^_^ I appreciate it! That was my NaNoWriMo project so I'm sure, even after a round of editing, it needs work.

Thanks for the feedback!

Since there's very little anyone can really tell from just a page or two, especially if they're the very first few pages, what can we comment? Well, its nice of you to share at least. Even if it is only to whet our appetite for more. Oh yes, I'm on to you.

Personally though, I wouldn't opt for this kind of a beginning. I'm also not much for horror, so that might color my judgment. I'd build up a little bit of reference, ease the reader into my world and crank up the tension nearing the end of the prologue. Can't blame you for rocking the boat from the very start, that's one way to start and seems pretty logical if you're going for what I think you're going. I think even if I was into the genre I'd prefer to introduce the subject with something seemingly innocent and then leave a twist at the end.

I think I'd add the journey of the woman going towards the room, when everything was perfectly alright/normal and then use the macabre sight as the real precedent of the story to come. Of course, that's just me and how I prefer to write. Perhaps I feel it puts the horrid scene into even a starker perspective. But since I'm not much for being very descriptive that's more or less the only way I feel comfortable doing it. You can obviously do fine with a vivid enough use of words, and that seems to be more your approach in this instance.

Of course what you write, when you write it and how determines and is determined by the flow of your story. Even if you thought I had a point, however unlikely, I doubt you would or should change anything. I can only hope my perspective has been of some use to you.

I accept all constructive criticism! ^_^ So I appreciate your input... Out of curiosity, where do you think I am going with that? (Referring to your comment on my going where you think I am)

Uh... I think I just said that to sound intelligent.

I forget. Perhaps its the national loss I am experiencing, so I might remember at some point.

It may get lumped together with the other experiences of today and will be locked away into a dark part of my brain never to resurface.

...

Excuse me while I continue crying in the corner and eat my cheap inflatable orange headwear.



Also, I'm pretty sure I wasn't trying to criticize. Not even sure it's constructive. It's a personal opinion on style.

OMG! That bathroom story was hilarious... and embarrassing. An honest mistake, but a very regrettable one!